Helping Someone You Love

A practical guide to supporting independence together.

When someone you love needs more support, it's natural to want to help.

You may be concerned about safety, comfort or everyday tasks. Your loved one may 

be thinking about privacy, freedom and the ability to make their own decisions.

Both concerns matter.

Good support starts by understanding what matters to the person, talking openly about concerns and exploring practical options together.

Use these questions as a starting point—not a test you have to complete.

1. START WITH WHAT MATTERS TO THEM

Before suggesting a solution, ask about the person's priorities.

What would you most like to keep doing? _____________________________________

Is there something you wish were easier? _____________________________________

What would you like to continue managing yourself? __________________________

What kind of help would feel useful to you? ___________________________________

Remember: the person's priorities may be different from what family members notice first.

2. OFFER HELP WITHOUT ASSUMING

Instead of immediately stepping in, try asking:

• “Would you like a hand with that?”

• “Would you prefer to try it yourself first?”

• “What would make this easier for you?”

• “Would you be open to exploring a few options together?”

One way I can offer help while leaving room for choice: ______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

Offering choices doesn't mean ignoring a genuine safety concern. It means respecting the person's preferences wherever possible.

3. TALK THROUGH THE CONCERNS

Families may be focused on different things. One person may be concerned about safety, while another wants to preserve freedom or privacy.

What is the main concern we need to discuss?

☐ Safety

☐ Comfort

☐ Getting around or participating in activities

☐ Everyday routines

☐ Transportation or getting out

☐ Cost or practical arrangements

☐ Something else: _______________________________

What matters most to the person receiving support?

What would help address the concern while preserving as much choice as possible?

If the concern involves falls, new symptoms or a change in ability, appropriate healthcare professionals may need to be involved.

4. MAKE A PRACTICAL PLAN TOGETHER

Support should work in real life—not just sound good in a conversation.

What would we like to make easier?

What kind of help or support might be useful?

What does the person want to continue doing independently?

What practical details should we consider?

☐ Comfort and personal preferences

☐ Home environment and everyday routine

☐ Transportation or getting out

☐ Who can help and when

☐ Cost and available options

☐ Whether the proposed support is manageable

☐ Whether the person is comfortable with the plan

One next step we can agree on: ________________________________________

Who will take that step? ______________________________________________

5. KEEP THE RELATIONSHIP AT THE CENTER

Not every conversation has to end with a decision.

Sometimes, listening is the most useful first step. Sometimes, family members need time to consider their options. And sometimes, the best next step is to ask a healthcare professional for guidance.

Choose one question to ask this week:

☐ “What matters most to you right now?”

☐ “What kind of help would feel useful?”

☐ “Is there something you'd like to keep doing yourself?”

☐ “What would help you feel more comfortable with the options?”

☐ “What is one thing we can work on together?”

OUR NEXT CONVERSATION

The question we want to discuss: ___________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

One thing we want to understand better: _____________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

GOOD SUPPORT RESPECTS THE PERSON AS MUCH AS IT ADDRESSES THE NEED.

Independence doesn't always mean doing everything alone. It means having a voice in how you live, what support you accept and what matters most to you.

START WITH A CONVERSATION

PHC Health helps Charleston and Lowcountry families explore mobility options based on individual needs, preferences and everyday routines.

You don't have to know exactly what you need before you start a conversation.

PHC HEALTH

1548 Ashley River Road

Charleston, SC 29407

843-762-1177

Monday–Thursday: 9:00 a.m.–5:00 p.m.

Friday: 9:00 a.m.–4:30 p.m.